Clean Humor & Jokes
back to main table of contents back to fidonews.orgState Fair
By Warren Bonner
wdbonner@pacbell.net
A man takes his wife to the State Fair and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They come up to the first pen and there is a sign that says "This Bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife pokes her husband in the ribs and says, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked a little further and see another pen with a sign that says, "This Bull mated 120 times last year."
The wife hits her husband and says "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walk further and a third pen has a Bull with a sign saying "This Bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife gets really excited and says "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looks at her and says .... "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow."
After nine surgeries and two years of therapy, the husband is now able to talk. It is hoped that someday he will walk again... <chuckle>
back to clean humor table of contents back to main table of contents back to fidonews.orgMother-in-Law
By Warren Bonner
wdbonner@pacbell.net
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told George that the sending of a body back to the States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00.
The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00.
George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."
The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."
"No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many years ago of a Person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day He arose from the dead.... I just can't take that chance." <Smile>
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