Articles

• Let's go Dutch
• What are Hermes Sysops?

Let's go Dutch
Björn Felten, 2:203/208

Did you ever wonder why you say 'let's go Dutch' and not let's go Irish, Spanish, German or French when you go to a restaurant and want to split the bill? Well, the obvious reason is that the Dutch are very... eh... economical, if not even parsimonious. This is one of the three corner stones that make up the typical Dutch mentality.

Parsimony

You may be invited for a cup of coffee in Holland, but you probably only will get one cookie and never a piece of cake.

If you're invited to a party, you'll be expected to show up after nine in the evening, because then the host can be sure you've already had dinner.

Q. Who invented the copper wire?
A. Two Dutchmen who found a five-cent coin.

Austerity

The second corner stone is austerity, especially to yourself. If you live in a country that has been conquered from the ocean, where banks and channels are in need of daily maintenance, it's no wonder that austerity is the foundation of the calvinistic religion that's dominating Holland.

The Bible Belt on the country side is strong, but even the city folks have this little guy (can it be the old village preacher Calvin?) sitting on their shoulder waving a 'vermanende vinger' (warning finger) whenever someone commits a breach of the Dutch etiquette.

This includes extravagance of any kind. Wealth should be strived for but never to be shown off. Your possesions should be practical, of high quality and may be beautiful. If you buy a car it should be a Volvo rather than a Cadillac.

Never try to impress a Dutchman with a showy business lunch. Working hours are meant for work anyway...

The 'vermanende vinger' also is waved to anyone that shows intolerance as well, which is a contradiction you must learn to live with, because tolerance is the third corner stone.

Tolerance

Don't think for a moment that the Dutch tolerance is about being nice in general, a real softy. No, tolerance is another one of those obligations so necessary to make life in a densely populated country like Holland bearable.

The calvinists may show austerity inwards but were among the first to allow freedom of religion. A historic attitude that made way for todays liberal attitude towards cannabis, prostitution, death-help and homosexual marriages -- all legal in Holland.

But being liberal means being split. What do you do when one mans freedom affects another mans ditto? Then you have to do like the Dutch, look between the fingers on one hand and wave the 'vermanende vinger' with the other.

So where do they draw the limit for the tolerance? Actually everything is allowed as long as it doesn't mean bad business. And the other way around, as long as it's good business you may temporarily forget about the austerity and the tolerance.

If nothing else, there's always the saying 'handel is handel' (business is business), that is a perfectly good excuse for almost everything.

- If we don't sell weapons to the enemy, how can we afford to go to war with him? as an illegal weapons dealer said on his trial.

There's another limit to the tolerance. The 'vermanende vinger' comes up whenever someone or something is threatening 'gezelligheid' the ultimate happiness for a Dutchman. The word comes from 'gezel' which means journeyman but also fellow, companion. The closest I can come up with as a translation is 'cosy company'.

The Dutch never say no to a 'gezellige' party. 'Voor de gezelligheid!' For the sake of good company. But let's go Dutch...

What are Hermes Sysops?
By Walter Bowen
1:393/11

Several years ago, Oliver Katigbak posted a message on HERMES_SYSOPS in which he asked "What are Hermes sysops?" Although I've updated my response just a tad for this reposting, it went something like this:

It's interesting that you should ask this in the HERMES_SYSOPS echo, Oliver, but not surprising since the "Hermes sysop" is rarely sighted these days. Such a creature is a member of a vanishing, but tenacious breed known more generically as a "Mac sysop," itself an obscure offshoot the larger, but also diminishing family that is most commonly labeled "sysop."

Probably one of the most distinguishing qualities of any of these creatures is their elusiveness. Rarely sighted, they exist mainly as phantoms, lurking and perhaps even smirking, somewhere in the pre-virtual community of the command line interface and occasionally in a domain known as FidoNet. Even as their numbers have dwindled, a feisty few still persist, but their existance becomes increasingly barren with each passing day.

So few outworlders today even possess the knowledge of how to pass through the terminal gateway into their pre-virtual universe that their eventual obscurity is more than virtually assured, it is a certainty. These shapeless, genderless and most often faceless creatures will soon vanish altogether, but perhaps fate has smiled on them nonetheless. Their passing will be a silent and painless one, for even as they wander, their terminals are shrouded in darkness and they still seem unable to read the handwriting on the walls that surround them.

So they continue lurking, smirking and occasionally emerging, still mercifully oblivious that reality is encroaching, that it has already enveloped them, and will ultimately swallow completely their shrinking pre-virtual, terminal universe with the elusive command line interface.

One day soon as the last one succumbs to time and slips peacefully into the void of the nothing, only their legacy will remain. Believe me, that day is nearer than ever, but the story is not yet over. If you look hard enough you may still detect a few flickering candles in the night. If you're really, really lucky, one of our smiley faces might even yet peer back at you.

But hurry. Time is short.

Walter Bowen

:-)