Humor in a Fido Vein

I found this on the Internet in a couple of URLs. I'm not sure who wrote it and, apparently, neither is anyone else. - Frank Vest

Theory on the Origin
of the Internet
Assumed to be written
by Bob Moroney

I have a theory on the origin of the Internet. Our canine companions have had a similar network in place for millennia. Think about it -- the dog over the back barks, yours barks, the one down the road barks and so on.

They have a very sophisticated communications protocol (K9 I think).

This consists of the familiar seven bite packet that we hear every night (they do it at night because there's more available bandwidth in the audio spectrum -- fewer trucks, cars, machinery etc.) you know -- woof woof, woof woof woof woof, woof.

The first two bites are the address i.e.:

aunty.FiFi@the_big_Gum_Tree/with/persian

The next four bites are message data "Hey Auntie where's the bone you promised me for Christmas you bitch?"

The last bite is the CRC "Canine Rabies Check". It's usually omitted by Australian dogs because we don't have rabies but some yappies use it to transmit stock exchange information.

Now don't dismiss this proposition too lightly. I know some of you will say you can't get that much info into seven bites, but there's a big difference between a bite and a byte. A byte, as we all know is only eight bits. But to a dog a bite is something completely different. One bite, "WOOF", is around .125 seconds in length and is a modulated analog signal with a better bandwidth than the telephone network. Remember that dogs have an auditory range which we regard as supersonic.

You may also say that reliance on sound waves as a carrier naturally limits the Doggie Internet to a rather local service region. WAKE UP. Dogs invented satellite communications. They're not howling at the moon at midnight, that's just a high speed upload.