Humor in a Fido Vein

• Fido and Life
• Fidonet's Favorite Things

Fido and Life
From Warren Bonner
<wdbonner@pacbell.net>

There WAS life before computers, and Fidonet...

• An application was for employment
• Fidonews was six tiny puppies
• A program was a TV show
• Fido Zones were doggie run parks
• A cursor used profanity
• Fido was the family pet
• A keyboard was on a piano
• Fido Region was the home yard
• Memory was something that you lost with age
• Fido history was archives of AKC
• A CD was a bank account
• Fido-Doggie-with-Floppy-Disk was Tom's dream
• A letter might take three days to reach your friend
• Fido software was yet to be invented
• Compress was something you did to garbage
• Fido simply buried his
• Log on was adding wood to a fire
• Fido always anointed logs, trees or whatever

8^))

Fidonet's Favorite Things
By Frank Vest
Inspired by a Sysop in a Fidonet Echo

To the tune of "My Favorite Things"

Flame wars and Net wars no one is forgiven
Stopping at nothing is how we are driven
Wild accusations that hurt what we love
Hey wait a minute I forgot my glove

Start out with a message designed to do damage
Finish with a statement that's born of pure spamage
Twist all the words to fit what you think
That's how you manage to make Fido sink

When the Nodes drop,
When the Nets stop,
We all get together to lay on the blame
Then we don't feel so bad.

Tell all the Sysops your views about P4
That's the best way to start up a Zone war
What does it matter what others may think
They really need to go see a shrink

When you are proved wrong never admit it
Swear that the others simply don't get it
Puff up and cough up and spew up old things
It doesn't matter, it has a good ring

When the mail stops,
When the zones drop,
We'll all get together to lay on the blame
Then we won't feel so bad.

<clap> <clap>

<bowing humbly>

Thank you very much

For my next number.... No! Wait!! Not the flame throwers... Arrrgh!! :-)