Humor in a Fido Vein

Policy of Non-Rights :)

The base text for the following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA. in reference to the United States "Bill of Rights".

The theme and wording has been adapted and completely torn apart for Fidonet and submitted thus;

We, the sensible people of Fidonet, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of reason, avoid flames, keep our hobby functional, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of our hobby for ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other complaining bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by Fidonet Policy and are so dim that they require a Policy of Non-Rights.

I: You do not have the right to access a BBS, have a Node number or any other access to Fidonet. More power to you if you can acquire them within Fidonet Policy and/or the policy of the BBS you call, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

II: You do not have the right to never be offended. Fidonet is based on communication and opinions, and that means communication and opinions from everyone - not just you! You may leave, change echos, express a different opinion, create your own echo, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

III: You do not have the right to post whatever you wish in any echo you choose. If you post off topic, learn the rules of the echo before posting again. Do not expect the Moderator, your Sysop or your mail feed to just accept that you are a jerk and ignore you.

IV: You do not have the right to have your software set up for you. Fidonet Sysops are the most friendly people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we do grow weary of the new generation of professional couch potatoes that expect everything to be "Plug & Play, don't or can't read the Docs and who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes who expect the same thing.

V: You do not have the right to free software keys. That would be nice, but if you spent the time and effort required to write the programs, you might understand.

VI: You do not have the right to abuse other people in Fidonet. If you do intentionally abuse someone don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see your Node number, access or status removed from Fidonet, or worse.

VII: You do not have the right to "hack" other people's computers. If you hack, illegally access or coerce access to other's systems, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you out of all the systems that we can.

VIII: You don't have the right to demand that Policy be followed "to the letter" in order to soothe your aching conscience or enact revenge for some perceived wrong done to you. We hate oppressiveness and won't stop you from following Policy to the letter if you like. However, we do not enjoy parenting all of you whiners that want it all your way and battling each and every little tyrant or would be tyrant with a title.

IX: You don't have the right to vote on every position or all aspects of Fidonet. It might be nice if you did, but it just isn't that way. If you want such rights, take advantage of the language in Fidonet Policy, learn how to change it and do something about it. Otherwise, shut up!

X: You do not have the right to happiness in Fidonet. Being in Fidonet, you can pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic thoughts and beliefs about rights and precedence created by those of you who were confused by Fidonet Policy.

Another dream that failed. There's nothing sadder.-Kirk, Star Trek