Net Humor

OLE, SWEN AND THE GENIE

Ole and Sven were fishing one day when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.

"Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he replied. He reached into his tackle box and pulled out a BIC lighter 10 inches long!

"Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, "vhere did yew get dat monster??"

"Vell," replied Ole, "I got it from my Genie."

"You haff a genie?" Sven asked.

"Ya, shure, right here in my tackle box," says Ole.

"Could I see him?" says Sven. So Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the genie.

Sven says, addressing the genie, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your maser. Vill you grant me vun vish?"

"Yes, I will", says the genie.

So Sven asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there, waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of amillion ducks flying overhead.

Sven yells at Ole, "I asked for a million BUCKS, not DUCKS!"

Ole answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew, da genie is hard of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch BIC?"

Confucius Say:

1. Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone.
2. Man who run in front of car get tired.
3. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
4. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
5. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
6. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways, going to Bangkok.
7. Man with one chopstick go hungry.
8. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
9. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
10. Baseball is wrong; man with four ball can not walk.
11. Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
12. War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
13. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
14. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
15. It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.
16. Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
17. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
18. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
19. Man who fish in other men's well often catch crabs.
20. Crowded elevator smell different to midget.