Editorial

Subject: SENIOR CITIZEN

I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I'm usually interested in going home BEFORE I get to where I am going.

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid........

I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a darn word you're saying.

I'm very good at telling stories.....over and over and over and over.

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care, VA Clinic care, and Vet's Cemetery awaiting....

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians, and panhandlers on every corner...........

I'm positive I did my part of the housework correctly before my mate retired.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place, if I can't find it no one can.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.........

I'm often looking in the refrigerator wondering what I was going to get.

I get to the stair landing, and rest a moment, then try to remember if I'm going up or down stairs.

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies....

I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory, and anti-gravity for sure!

I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors......absolutely nothing!

I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, they all look like teenagers.

I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.....

I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I'm supporting all movements now ... by eating bran, prunes, and raisins, supplemented with "Carter's Little Liver Pills".

I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... just state anything and I will tell you what that reminds me of, and back when!

I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN enjoying my second childhood and I think I am having the time of my life!!!!