Naval Stories

From: "william brabant" <buffalos3@webtv.net>aka "Buffalo"

My name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

What does a sailor do at sea to keep amused?? Surfing the net and sending emails is one of the newest pastimes but is controlled by the mission of the ship and the area it is in. There is a television system on board both closed circuit, or a ships channel and satellite. Back in my day backgammon and card games were popular usually spades. Gambling was frowned upon but poker games were allowed as long as there was no money visible . The really daring people would play craps ad thousands of dollars changed hands usually in a matter of minutes.

One night on watch in the boiler room an E-6 came running into the console booth wearing a hard hat underwear and shower shoes. The Master At Arms had walked in on a crap game and they had left 1500. lying on the deck and ran . Reason was that the Captain had threatened to bust everyone playing down to the rank of the lowest man present and they had been playing with an E-3. The E-6 escaped but they all learned to be less conspicuous that night. As for the buffalo I wasted too many nights of sleep breaking even playing cards and decided that my sleep and telling jokes was a better pastime. Hope you enjoy today's offering.

A blonde walks into a pro shop, points to a golf club and asks the clerk the price. The clerk looked to where she was pointing and stated that the owner told him not to sell golf equipment to blondes because they always seem to return the items.

The blonde left the shop, very mad, and walked down the street to a wig shop, where she bought a brunette wig.

She returned to the pro shop and, pointing to the same golf club, asked the clerk the price.

The clerk replied, "Sorry lady, the owner does not sell golf equipment to blondes because of the high return rate."

"How did you know that I am a blonde," she asked.

The clerk replied, "That's a golf umbrella, not a golf club."