Net Humor

• The Other Side of Redneck Humor
• Water Closet Origin

The Other Side of Redneck Humor
Thanks to Roy Reed

You might be a Yankee if...

• The sound of Fran Drescher's voice doesn't bother you.
• You've watched the movie "Deliverance" and you're afraid to go on a camping trip. Ever.
• For breakfast, you'd rather have potatoes than grits.
• You can name at least 4 hockey teams.
• You've never eaten Okra.
• You wonder why people in restaurants don't talk as loud as you do.
• You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun & knife show.
• You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
• You've never had grain alcohol.
• You are familiar with all the rules to Lacrosse.
• You have no idea what a polecat is.
• You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
• You've never had bangs.(ed. note - OR if you do have them, they aren't several inches ABOVE the top of your head)
• You'd rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
• You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
• You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
• You refer to two or more people as "you guys" instead of "y'all".
• You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
• You prefer a bagel over a donut.
• You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob,Kay Bob, Bob Bob, Sara Jane)
• You get freaked out when strangers in public talk to you.
• None of your fur coats are made with real fur.
• You don't know what a Piggly-Wiggly is.
• You think NASCAR stands for the North American Society for...(something)
• You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
• Your idea of a perfect meal is "Lahbsta and Clam Chawdah."
• You use the horn in your car more than once or twice a year.
• Everything you know about the Civil War you learned watching TV.
• You don't "reckon".
• You're not "fixin" to do anything.

Water Closet Origin
Thanks to Roy Reed

BEIJING - Britain's claim to have invented the water closet went down the drain with the discovery of a 2,000-year-old toilet complete with running water, a stone seat and a comfortable armrest. Officials say the antique latrine was found in the tomb of a king of the Western Han Dynasty, located in the central province of Henan. The king ruled from 206 BC to 24 AD and was said to believe that his soul would need to enjoy human life after death. London plumber Thomas Crapper has frequently been credited with the invention of the flush toilet and patented a U-bend siphoning system for flushing the pan in the late 19th century.

[It was not mentioned whether a stack of ancient magazines were found next to the latrine.]