Editorial

To Whom It May Concern

Thank you for your recent chain letter. As a matter of practice, I don't forward these things, so you may rest assured that I've been doomed to the pits of hellfire and damnation... or whatever your chain letter specifies; I didn't really read through all the forwarding addresses and quote headers to catch the exact consequences.

It's not that I want to be cavalier about this. I suppose that there are supernatural forces in this world which could actually visit damnation on me. I can even imagine that some would choose to spread their gospel through the electronic media rather than use the primitive technology of Gutenberg to disseminate bound volumes. But the buck stops here. I may have bought a one-way ticket across the River Styx, but I'm not trying to sponsor a tour.

You, on the other hand, are in deep doo-doo! Did you forward this letter to ten people? Then the best that you can hope for is that the other nine ignored you too, and will be waiting in Hell with me to get the SOB who sent us here. It could be worse... maybe half the people you sent this to took your letter seriously and sent it to ten others. Maybe half of these folks ignored the letter. Now, instead of five folks waiting for you with mayhem on their mind, you have 25. But it doesn't end here... there are still 25 people cranking out the tickets to the underworld which you are responsible for, and that might result in 125 damned souls and 125 folks who will help propagate your instrument of soul condemnation. Pretty soon the place is gonna get crowded with a lot of folks ticked at YOU.

Of course, you can avoid this fate by leading a holy life and faithfully passing on all the chain letters that you get. Or can you? Will you ever see the last of these missives? If there aren't enough of these chain letters already floating around, you've set up the mechanism which ensures that you'll see them indefinitely into the future. At some point in time, you'll weaken... maybe with age you'll no longer be able to click on the option which forwards these instruments of damnation... or maybe you'll run out of addresses. Not only have you doomed yourself to a Hell on Earth as you scurry to keep these chain letters flowing, but you're actively increasing the reception committee just waiting for you to slip up.

I, on the other hand, may outlive you. You see, I'll be leading an unfrenzied life doing exactly what I want... for my fate has been already sealed by you. You probably won't need to worry about me when when I'm cast into the pit, though. I'll be maintaining a discrete distance. After all, I am not the one who pissed off the millions of other damned!