Net Humor

• Golf Humor
• Coincidences

Golf Humor
Repeated by Ol'WDB

Once upon a time a guy was talking with his girlfriend and she invited him over to dinner the next night. He graciously accepted and then she proclaimed after this big event she would make love to him.

So before dinnertime, he was out getting a golf lesson at the club, but he couldn't concentrate at all. The pro asked him what was on his mind. So he told him that his girlfriend wanted to make love with him tonight. The pro was excited for the young man, and instead of giving him golf lessons he gave him lessons on making love. He taught him everything and by the end of the lesson he was an expert.

So later that evening the boy arrived at his girlfriends' house. They sat down for dinner and the girl said grace.

The boyfriend just kept his head down. Finally after 20 minutes the girlfriend whispered "I never knew you were so religious", and the boy whispered back, "I never knew your dad was a golf pro."

Coincidences
As told to Ol'WDB

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers - which she ended by saying "God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa." The father said, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers,which went like this - "God bless mommy, God bless daddy and good-bye grandma.

Next day the grandmother died. My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say "God bless mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. Couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch."