F I D O N E W S
Volume 16, Number 29
19 July 1999

Columns

ECHO TALK

Food for thought from Fido's echomail.
Purloined without permission by D Myers

This week's "contribution" is taken from a message by Roy Witt in the SUPER-BITCH echo. Roy retaliates for "Why women love cucumbers better than men" in this expose on Why men love motercycles better than women.

  1. Motorcycles don't put on weight.
  2. Motorcycles come with an instruction manual.
  3. All you have to do is turn a key to turn one on.
  4. With age, bikes become classics, women just get old and fat.
  5. Motorcycles don't care if you have more than one bike.
  6. New paint is cheaper than a face lift.
  7. Just trade in when bored with it.
  8. Only have to mess with fluids every 3000 miles, not monthly.
  9. Bikes have no creepy friends who hate men.
  10. The bike is always there for you.
  11. Motorcycles don't mind if you ride another one.
  12. Motorcycles look good 24/7.
  13. Bikes don't have facial hair.
  14. Bikes don't need their fork legs shaved every day.
  15. Motorcycles are ready to ride all the time.
  16. Motorcycles don't look like their mothers in five years.
  17. Or act like them.
  18. Gas is cheaper than dinner and a movie.
  19. Bikes don't look around.
  20. Bikes like to go fast.
  21. Motorcycles don't play mind games.
  22. A bike will flat ass kill you, not drag it out in marriage.
  23. A bike has gauges so you tell can what it's doing.
  24. Motorcycles don't retain water and get bitchy.
  25. Bikes don't care how loud the music is.
  26. Bikes don't talk back.
  27. Motorcycles are not interested in families.
  28. Bikes don't get into religion, ever.
  29. Motorcycles don't hog the bath room in the morning.
  30. Bikes don't need make-up to look good.
  31. Motorcycles don't care if your socks don't match.
  32. When a bike backfires, it's only noise.
  33. Bikes never mistrust your judgement.
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