Columns

Dear Editorbeing,

This article is submitted by Doc Logger (163/110) who was busy deciding which of the four tasty peanuts he'd eat. The peanuts were offered as the inflight meal by an airline which should remain nameless but whose stewardesses are world-renowned for surliness. To give this some perspective, Leona Helmsley would be counted as too polite to qualify as a stewardess on this airline.

Roll da flic, Zorch....

Dear Reverend Visage,

The good folks at Swamp Swine magazine were in high dungeon when I submitted the latest batch of petty cash vouchers. They claimed that there was something suspicious in the fact that I listed five cases of Glenlivet as "Lobster Repellent." Their argument was that lobsters were repellent enough on their own without being drunk. The case would be hard to disprove since no life form in the Maritimes appears to be sober for long, particularly the cheerful souls who drive the logging trucks on the scenic back roads.

I see that the genius of Henk Wolsenk continues to shine through in the ZCC echo where he was busy trying to insult Ward Dossche. Henk is the stellar intellect who asserted that he supported representative democracy but promptly bent over for Satti and is now sniveling about an elective policy being continued in Germany. Our prayers and our edible underwear should go out to Henk in his hour of need.

I see that his Zorchness got his policy complaint against Ruth Argust rejected as well it should have been. Zorch was even keen enough to offer a "complaint kit" to other Region 10 NCs so that they could follow his bizarre lead in attempting to foster Kohl's vendetta. The funniest part of Zorch's complaint was where he accused Ruth of lying. What makes this so terribly amusing is that the accusation comes from the man who hasn't quite answered whether he voted twice in the ZEC election.

Zorch: Did you vote twice in the ZEC election?

David Calafrancesco, Bob Seaborn, and a raft of others have been patiently trying to explain to Kohl why his version of the echolist robot was dismissed in favour of a more trustworthy system. Since the echolist robot is another function of Fidonet which has escaped the tentacular grasp of Kohl, we can give thanks to Thom Lacosta for saving us. Kohl was economical with the truth in terms of the timing of his various pronouncements and it is a great pleasure to see that the RECC have unanimously chosen a process that will keep the echolist functional.

In other Region10 news, it seems that a new R10EC has been appointed. It is quite amazing the progress that can be made by Kohl after just three months of brain-numbing thought. The new R10EC appears to share Kohl's subtle grasp of technical performance so it should be mid-September before she can directly connect herself to the RECC echo.

Brenda Donovan, Kohl quisling extraordinaire, still hasn't answered any of my queries. I would have added a new question as to how five alleged NC votes magically appeared in the last 2 1/2 hours of the voting period but even asking could probably cause her to blow the same headgasket she overheated when she objected to Region10 being polled by "outside agitators."

It seems that commercial interests are knocking on the Snooz's door, wondering if the last bastion of militant public domain publishing can be whored to their causes. I suggest that advertising of commercial interests should be banned from the Snooz with the single exception of those companies that manufacture electric artichoke steamers.

I must go Visage, your secretary is back in the office and she is definitely not a happy camper. Andrea Santos sent us several tons of shark gizzards which reek only slightly less than Region10 politics. I may have to take her to Zurich with me next week so that the office has a chance to air out.

Regards,
Doc Logger,
Furlang Island,
South Pacific