Columns

Dear Editorbeing,

This article is submitted by Doc Logger (163/110) who battled vicious tides and enveloping fog to get to a phone connection. Unfortunately, the phone was inconveniently located in an abandoned fish processing plant so if this missive smells a bit fishy, my apologies.

Roll da flic, Zorch....

Dear Reverend Visage,

Thank god the GPS navstar unit works and I was able to find my way back to shore after spending the day fishing for alleged squid. The boat operator took us out of sight of land and then suggested that we drop our lines and hope for the best. I haven't been so entertained since the last time I watched the golf channel on TV. I think fishing must require a great deal more rum than we had aboard because even though I tried to attract whole hordes of squid with my lunch and breakfast, nary a one took the bait. Naturally, the fog rolled in before we'd been out for an hour and it took the rest of the day to find the port.

Speaking of large quantities of fog, Visage, you'll be pleased to know that there is an election in Region 10. Bob "Dimbulb" Satti claimed that he had no control over the shotgun timing of the election, even though Bob Kohl was given a one week running start on any other candidate. One of Kohl's trained seals, Mike Moon, has announced that he's gonna vote for Kohl because he's pissed at the outside interest in the region. This genius in one of Kohl's appointees so it is hardly fair to expect independent thought or reasonable judgment out of the guy.

I suspect that if Kohl wins the election, it will mean the exit of a number of sysops who have reached their level of tolerance with the idiocy of Satti and the malign administration of Kohl. I sent a number of queries to the co-returning officer of the election, Brenda Donovan, but she didn't deign to respond. I particularly wanted her to indicate whether she endorsed the ludicrous timing of the election since it occurred to me that Satti's lunacy would be somewhat curtailed if it wasn't so easy for him to find naive quislings.

On a brighter note, Kohl dodged the silver bullet on the policy complaints that were contemplated and pending. It seems that Satti rejected the PC of Hans Mangold who had complained when Kohl revealed the content of in-transit netmail. Kohl ducked a PC by Lesley-Dee Dylan by offering up a last minute apology for his despicable behaviour.

I have a feeling that Alec Grynspan will be green with envy when he discovers that I was given a quantum leap into new technology. The good sysops of Net163, and particularly Malcolm Campbell, gave me a Sinclair ZX 1500. That puppy zips along at 8 mhz and can do 16k worth of file transfers in just six minutes. Any second now, I should be able to handle all of the literate Internet mail in the universe. For those who don't know, my constant struggle to stay on the trailing edge of technology has met with astounding success.

This will have to be a short article Visage, the bartender has announced Last Call and I'll need extra refreshments in order to recover from my fishing ordeal. With any kind of luck I should be ensconced on a sandy beach in P.E.I. where the bathing beauties wear parkas to ward off the cold Atlantic chill.

Regards,
Doc Logger
Somewhere in Cape Breton