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Dear Editorbeing,

This article is submitted by Doc Logger(163/110) who was recently plagued by an unusual number of low flying bats. Mercifully, the good editors at Swamp Swine Magazine provided suitable ingestibles to ease the condition long enough for this missive to be carved into the husks of coconuts and floated off to the Snooz.

Roll da flic, Zorch....

Dear Reverend Visage,

I've just returned from watching the movie version of Hunter S. Thompson's "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas." If I didn't know better, I'd swear that the hotel scenes had been filmed in your living room. Who'd have thought that art directors on movies would be able to independently create the same six inch deep flotsam of backed up sewage and the lampshades nailed to walls with Marlin spikes. The movie is excremental so you can safely avoid watching it. The book wasn't as badly trashed as the movie version of "Even Cowgirls Get The Blues" but the film misses the whole point of a savage journey into the heartland of America. The visual effects were quite pleasing since they rendered Young Republicans appropriately as reptilian carnivores.

Speaking of reptiles, I see that Bob Kohl has carried through with his threat and removed Gerry Calhoun as the NC of his net. Naturally, this occurred while Bob "noted" Satti slumbered. Poor Satti didn't fire enough neurons to head off Kohl's nastiness and now will have to bleat his usual piffle about the sanctity of policy. Since Kohl is one of the few fartcatchers left in the elflord domain who support Satti, it must be heartbreaking to see a protege make Fidonet so enjoyable for the serfs in the Region 10 domain. The good news is that both Moravsik and Tannacore continue to add their bottomless wit in support of Bob "comatose" Satti's narcoleptic rule. Our prayers and our edible underwear should go out to them in their few picoseconds of sentient thought.

His Zorchness has been strangely silent in the echos recently, which must mean that he has taken advantage of his newly reconstituted set of wheels to venture to far off places. I was hoping he'd cough up an interview with Rosanna Arquette but he probably had someone less fascinating in mind.

I am including a rather lengthy quote today, written by Fred Ennis (163/136). Mr. Ennis has served as NC of Net163 and RC of Region 12. Mr. Ennis invites comments and suggestions to the Sysop Bill of Rights.

"1. Nodenumbers shall be granted on request to sysops who:

• are able to negotiate mail sessions properly;
• keep an up to date nodelist; and,
• maintain operations during mandatory hours.

2. No sysop may be removed from Fidonet for anything other than repeated technical non-compliance.

3. Any sysop can obtain an echomail feed wherever the sysop wishes. Conversely, no one is required to provide an echomail feed.

4 Every sysop in Fidonet shall have the right to vote by secret ballot for their NC, RC, and ZC at least every two years.

5. All Fidonet sysops may run for *C positions in their nets, regions and zones.

6. Voting in elections shall be held by secret ballot, and returning officers shall ensure that sysops can verify that their ballot was counted properly.

7. Policy complaints, evidence and decisions are public information. *C's are accountable for maintaining a history of decisions and passing them on to their successors.

8. In the event of a conflict between policy and this Bill of Rights, the Sysop Bill of Rights will be the authority."

I think that Fred's approach is probably the way to go with respect to returning Fidonet to some semblance of sanity and fairness. Rather than try to convince the cretins who now infest the elflord positions, perhaps it is time the sysops themselves took the initiative and declared their rights which supersede any rule created by the self-serving and self-perpetuating efforts of the elflords.

Mr. Ennis hasn't declared his intentions with respect to the Sysop Bill of Rights, but I think it would be marvelous if the document were submitted to a Zone level sysop vote. If adopted, it would certainly carry more jurisprudent weight than the current Peefour abomination.

I must go Visage, David Moufarrage is alleged to be sitting on the roof singing a rousing chorus of "Nearer My Bob To Me" and I'll have to get him down before he disturbs the peacocks. By the way, Walloonetta phoned and asked my permission, in your absence, whether she could get miscellaneous body piercings. I told her to go ahead and that as her father, you'd thank me later.

Regards,
Doc Logger,
Furlang Island,
South Pacific