Net Humor

From: "Mike Riddle" <mriddle@novia.net>
To: "Baker, Christopher" <cbaker84@digital.net (Christopher Baker)
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 97 10:38:22 -0600
Reply-To: "Mike Riddle" <mriddle@oasis.novia.net>
Subject: Fwd: IE for Linux?

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From: robbie@tomservo.eng.mindspring.net
Message-ID: <19971027233102.9058.qmail@tomservo.eng.mindspring.net>
Subject: IE for Linux?
Date: Mon, 27 Oct 1997 18:31:02 -0500 (EST)

With rumors about the impending doom release of Microsoft Internet Exploder for Linux, I decided to get a jump on things and create a man page for IE.

IE has been such a security problem for Windoze users, that it stands to reason that Microsoft won't deprive the Linux/UNIX community of such quality work.

(I was going to save this and release it as an April Fools joke for 98, but I couldn't wait that long.. :-)

Robbie

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IE(1)

NAME

ie - Microsoft Internet Explorer

SYNOPSIS

ie [ -acfghkp ] [ -m alternate-passwd-file ] [ -length of time ]

DESCRIPTION

Ie is the web browser. The only web browser. Netscape is irrelevant. Opera is irrelevant. Ie is your master. Kneel.

There are two ways to use ie: non-executed binary and insecure mode. The non-executed binary is the mode ie ships in. There are no flags or directions for use in this mode.

Options are:

-a

-c

Clear filesystem. Ie will delete all files for which it has write permission on all mounted filesystems. After the first pass, Ie will begin attempts at obtaining root access so that the remaining files can be removed.

-f

Same as -c, except that ie will immediately begin attempting root access, and will newfs all mounted filesystems.

-h

Hack. Lets you link to other systems running ie and obtain their passwd files.

-k

Randomly coredump. If you specify a valid mailbox name in parens, ie will mail the coredump to them.

-p

Post /etc/passwd to alt.2600.

-m [alternate]

Gives you the opportunity to specify an alternate passwd file to post.

-length

How long should ie run crack on the passwd file before attempting to post?

AUTHOR

The usual gang of idiots.

BUGS

See printed ie documentation: "Problems with IE", volumes 1-14, availible in hardcover from Microsoft Press.

The -g option is not implemented.

FILES

/etc/passwd

System password file.

/usr/local/bin/crack

crack binary.

/usr/local/bin/ie

IE binary.

DIAGNOSTICS

If ie crashes, simply reboot system to restore stability.

BUG REPORTS TO

/dev/null

COPYRIGHTS

Microsoft Corporation. Don't even THINK about crossing us. (This disclaimer does not apply to Ms. Janet Reno).

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