Net Humor

From: "Mike Riddle" <mriddle@monarch.papillion.ne.us>
To: "Baker, Christopher" <cbaker84@digital.net (Christopher Baker)
Date: Mon, 30 Dec 96 08:20:13 -0600
Reply-To: "Mike Riddle" <mriddle@monarch.papillion.ne.us>
Subject: Fwd: New -- Standardized System Problem Report (Tripe)

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I found this in my Net travels today, and think this will be "invaluable" for anyone who is a system administrator, the resident firm computer guru, or outside consultant. I love the response options. Though it's based in humor, I have to admit I've gotten problem reports in real life that were more entertaining/frustrating than this one. <g>

Jeff Beard

Jeffrey J. Beard, Esq.
MicroLaw, Inc., 825 S. 60th St., Milwaukee, WI 53214
Voice: (414) 476-8433 Fax: (414) 476-8461
E-mail: microlaw@execpc.com
Web Site: http://www.microlaw.com

SYSTEM PROBLEM REPORT

This is a form to make the reporting of problems consistent, allow records of problems to be kept, and a method of discouraging users from reporting faults in the first place.

Your name? ___________________
Your login name? ____________________
The date? __/__/__
The date the problem first occurred if different? __/__/__
Problem Severity:

Minor__ Minor__ Minor__ Minor__

Which machine? ____________________
Which area appears to be at fault?

Communications__ Disk__ Base Unit__
Network__ Keyboard__ Screen__
Mouse__ Everything__ Don't Know__

Is it plugged in? Yes__ No__
Is it switched on? Yes__ No__
Has it been stolen? Yes__ No__
Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

Have you made it worse? Yes__

Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__
Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__
Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? Yes__ No__
Did you understand it? Yes__ No__
If `Yes' then why can't you fix it yourself?

Is the equipment unexpectedly noisy? Yes__ No__

If `Yes' what sort of noise?

Grinding__ Rattling__
Whirring__ High pitched whine__
Sound of disk head scouring disk__
Strange, out of tune whistling or humming__

Is there a smell of burning? Yes__ No__

If `Yes' is the equipment on fire? Yes__ No__

Is the fault repeatable? Yes__ No__

What were you doing (with the equipment) at the time the fault occurred?

If `Nothing', then explain why you were logged in.

Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__
Describe the problem.

Now, describe the problem accurately.

Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem.

Can't you do something else, rather than bothering me? Yes__ No__

Jeffrey J. Beard, Esq.
MicroLaw, Inc., 825 S. 60th St., Milwaukee, WI 53214
Voice: (414) 476-8433 Fax: (414) 476-8461
E-mail: microlaw@execpc.com
Web Site: http://www.microlaw.com

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